When a Dream Leaves You with Hurt Feelings

Yesterday was a good day.

My daughter came over, we had a fun, easy visit, and she brought me a beautiful plant. Everything felt peaceful.

I was not expecting The Dream. 

 I found myself back at XYZ Law Firm, not working, just visiting. I felt like a returning hero when I walked in.

At first, it felt comforting to see my old friends, but then I realized something was off. Something had changed.

I was being blamed for something I hadn’t done—something I wouldn’t have even handled. I explained, calmly and clearly, but it didn’t matter. The more I spoke, the less I was heard.

My old boss was there, but acted too busy to talk. I wanted just a moment—to be understood. It never came.

I didn’t argue. I didn’t insist. I kept my composure and trusted the truth would show itself eventually.

And then I left feeling heartbroken, no longer recognized for my good work, but leaving with dignity. 

I woke up really feeling that hurt. Intellectually, it was interesting that I was feeling hurt physically, in my soul. 

Why this Dream? The Dream didn’t match the day I had. Was it just a case of life being calm so the mind had space to revisit some old feeling?

I’ve had this dream in many variations and always wake up with hurt feelings. I placed a lot of value on my job and work reputation, and it took me a long time to let it go when I retired. Maybe I only think I let it go. 

Do you have a recurring dream? 

A Smorgasbord of Photos and Memes

 We've had quite a bit of good rain lately, so I had a garden workday before the next advertised rain. If you need a wheelbarrow type thingy I love this one. I begged my daughter to share her's with me (and she hasn't gotten it back yet). I also have a painter's bucket (thank you to one of my neighbors who used to garden) that stores my tools. I don't have a lot of tools, but it is nice to have them organized. 

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I brought the acrylic chair from my dressing area to sit on while potting at the little table. I "borrowed" the round table and the iron chair in the video from in front of my green hedges since no one ever sat there. 

So here is a little movie after I put the tools away, and the rain came.

I've had a rough week with my diabetes, and this little meme shows my attitude during the struggle. Yes, I did feel sorry for myself. 

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You know how I love to watch birds, so I bought these earrings from Etsy, made by a lady in another country. They were made with rice paper for the design. I loved these earrings, and somehow I lost one. Broke my heart. Don't you just hate it when that happens? 

This photo was taken after the disastrous Hurricane Harvey hit Houston. I keep it to remind me why I am always hurricane prepared. Laugh if you want, but at least I have bottled water to drink and a bathtub full of water to flush the toilet.  

This little meme is in response to the Rockets' games in the playoffs. Since we were playing against the Lakers, the games played there were late at night, and of course, I got riled up and couldn't go to sleep right away. It also refers to all the middle-of-the-night sugar dips recently that caused me to get up between 3 and 5 and eat and monitor my numbers. 

This little gem represents my determination to live a simple, peaceful retirement and focus on what brings me happiness. 

Finally, a picture of my dear departed Buddy Boy dressed by the Grandgirls in the hat from Woody in Toy Story, and a beaded necklace they made. He'll be gone a year next month. I still miss his little barking face. 

More later ... 

The Words I Still Use

My vocabulary is a living museum of American English. I use words from several eras at once.

Some people sound polished and current. They are Woke while I still reach for older expressions like Dang, Darn, and Dadgumit. For me, it feels like they soften irritation without turning every small annoyance into a major event.

Of course, when I’m truly angry, I know stronger language too. Sometimes a sharp curse word says exactly what I feel. There’s no denying that.

I probably thought more about my words around the time I had Grandchildren. Growing up in the 50s, I don’t remember a lot of cussing, either at home or on TV, certainly not like the kids hear all the time now.  

I also still use words from the 60s and 70s—Cool, Bummer (one of my favorites), and Vibe (yes, I still get your Vibe). Every now and then, Far Out, Right On, or Can You Dig It may still appear.

One phrase I’ve never given up is: Keep on Truckin’. 

I often use it to end a text or comment. To me, it means keep going, keep moving forward, keep handling whatever life brings next.

And then there’s: Bless your heart.  I use all versions of it—Bless his heart, Bless her heart, Bless their heart. (I know, it drives Margaret crazy.) I think, for me, it is a kind of “I’m sorry this happened/is happening to you.” 

The words we often use say something about where we came from. Mine reflect family habits, different decades, changing times, and my sense of humor. 

So, if you hear me say, Dang, that’s a bummer… keep on truckin’, you’re hearing a little of my history mixed in with my everyday conversation.